its okay

So... hello LJ~!

Writing in my journal again =D

Im all moved into my new house, engaged, and overall very happy. Ive got a wonderful job in which I make plenty of money for food, rent, fun and lolita. My life is going so good, what do I have to complain about? Really? Why I cant I just be happy, jeez....

Its kinda nice the only hang ups I have are about lolita.


In which he replies,

"Oh, dont get THAT set. Its waaaaay fuddy duddy. It looks like that Baby dress you traded that I also didnt like."

"You mean my first brand piece? I liked that dress..."


I still really want the tiered JSK in cream... Id buy the socks and headbow too! I love all three (I like the sundress more, but not as much...) But he prefers it in black! I think its just too busy. But at the same time, what to do?
"Oh girl, who cares what he thinks, get what you like!"

I care ;_;

I made a pretty good bonus check, so I can afford it, but... I dont know. Im conflicted. He is always so supportive (He sits with me and comments about Daily Lolita! Its hilarious. "Psh, she totally did not get how to coordinate Milky-chan! Over the knee socks would have made it SO much better." Hahaha...) so I dont want to get things that he doesnt like, being as he already is super-supportive of it. Still though.

Poodles. POODLES.

If this is the worst thing in my life right now Im pretty happy.

Also Medieval Faire. In passing, I mentioned how awesome being a centaur would be. A PEGASUS CENTAUR. SO COOL.

So now Derek is darned and determined to get me half-way into a horse. Oh boy...


PS: I miss the lolitas... </3

  • Current Mood
    busy busy
its okay


 I seem to want to buy a lot of the same clothes as someone I know... I look up to her as far as lolita goes, of course, but I really just like the pieces! But I dont want her to think Im creepy and trying to copy her </3 Im not, and she mentioned it before, a lot of the OK girls have the same taste. I just feel bad for wanting the EXACT SAME PRINT. >_<

Im not wanting to copy you Emmie, I just adore you and your style, and we happen to like the same prints :c

(Despite this Im gonna buy Popping Balloons anyway <3 ) 
its okay


So I feel like my life has been spinning far too fast, and Ive been too lazy to catch on... Work and my daily life have been going well, but I cant seem to convince myself to work really hard. Its not that I cant, its that I dont, and its frustrating. I usually spend my time off with Derek- and this makes me very happy indeed. The time I get to spend with him make everything else worth it, and I dont mind not being at work if I get to be with him. Ive moved on so quickly, I wonder how long my happiness with him will last, before he finds someone else to make him as happy as he makes me... I hope its not just a phase.

About the only thing I can see not going my way is the fact I havent worn lolita in what feels like months... I feel awkward when I wear it around him, and he acts as if he feels awkward while Im in it. It breaks my heart, and its a bit pathetic, but I cant seem to feel cute or good like I used to when I wore it by myself. Maybe I just need to take a day off for myself and wear it all day, go out, eat cake and drink tea, and feel gorgeous all day. Maybe get my nails done or something. Whoever wants is welcome to join me :3

Its so sad how I stare at my tiny lolita closet some mornings, touch the lace, all my neatly folded socks and categorized head accessories, and then... Go change into jeans. I miss dressing up so much. I want to do it again... Very soon. I think Ive got a slight obsession, haha. But who wouldnt?! Lolita makes you look and feel so cute and wonderful @w@

Thats all, I suppose. I hope to meet a lot more wonderful people in Edmond when I move.

  • Current Music
    Paparazzi-Lady Gaga
its okay

Son of a...

Gun. Ive been on 4chan far too much recently, and it makes me want to cosplay again. It doesnt help that some of the other lolitas are all AMAZING cosplayers... I drool at the sight of their costumes D: It makes me want to sew again, it makes me yearn for the fun of browsing fabric stores for hours trying to find that perfect color and fabric choice, getting frustrated when it doesnt work right, then finally, putting it on, and feeling so happy that you look like 'x' character. I MISS that. I miss the drama and the anger, but most of all... I miss meeting other people in cosplay at cons. With Akon upon us, I remember all the people Ive met because of cosplay, and it makes me want to do it again. Which means I need to work a bunch of doubles so that I can get Conker done. BECAUSE WHO WOULDNT WANT TO TALK TO A FURRY AMIRITE. And I want to raveinitandbereallyhotandpassoutandliethereforhoursduringaheatstrokeuntilpeoplefindmymeltingsweatycorpseandthrowmeoutside.

Not much else. Chocolate festival was amazing. I have an amazing boyfriend. Im broke but Im happy. Life is good.

  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious
its okay

Oh my golly gosh

WTF PUTUMAYO. Why didnt I ever look at them before? Ive seen them on EGL Sales, and Im just like, 'meh.' Its usually so deconstructed that it just looks like a pile of shredded ribbons they are selling. BUT THEN I SEE THE ITEMS WORN AND ERGIUDHJGIOHEVJISOZJDKV.

Everything they have is so cute, but its not my style at all. I wear big pink frilly dresses, hairbows, big plastic jewelry... And their items are darker, have splatter prints, and.. and and... Are SO cute! It makes me want to buy a lot of their items and just dress super-cutesy-punky for awhile, while incorporating lolita into it @_@ Maybe a stripy PUTUMAYO hoodie with the BTSSB Charmmy Kitty skirt, thigh-highs and cute heels or boots? Are thigh-highs too sexy for lolita? Even if it is, I would still wear it... It sounds so cute in my mind... Even the Charmmy Kitty skirt with like a biker jacket and heels sounds adorable. the same time though... I think what is holding me back is my fear of being stereotyped, in and out of lolita. Even if I think its adorable, and I know its SO much better quality and looks 1,000,000,000x better, I dont want to but lumped with 'Oh, she just got her stuff from HT', or, 'Oh, its just a gothy-punk kid, Ill bet shes emo' or whatever the stereotype is, ha. To be honest, I just want to wear it to be cute, and thats all that should matter, so... Why does it bother me so much?

Short story long, I want to wear PUTUMAYO , BPN, Atelier BOZ, Algonquins etc, but Im afraid of the stereotypes that wearing punky clothes will put me under. For some reason, I feel as if Im more approachable in lolita (I mean, people come up and talk to me all the time o_o ) but if I wear punk, what kind of vibe will that send? More importantly, why do I care so much? Am I really that dependent on others? Gah.

Speaking of wearing something a bit different, the times when Im not in lolita, work clothes, or sleeping, there are times when Im just in t-shirt and jeans. But, for some reason, this isnt what I want to wear. I want to wear cute clothing from shops like Charlotte Russe, AE, Express... I want to wear clothing that makes me feel sexy or more mature than video game t-shirts. Like strappy heels and flare jeans. WANT.

Maybe Im just stressed out, being so concerned about my appearance. Im usually not this vain, but lately... I dont know. Maybe by growing up, I want to look more grown up, and my sense of taste is reflecting that. Im not about to stop wearing lolita, not at all, but I want to wear more variety outside of it. Thats all. ( I hope...)
  • Current Mood
    quixotic quixotic